shirtlifterbear: (Default)
shirtlifterbear ([personal profile] shirtlifterbear) wrote2011-04-03 03:14 pm

Evolving Perspective

WHAT I THOUGHT:

What I initially found most interesting about the backlash against the category of anti-homophobic bullying video I posted yesterday and the "It Gets Better" project videos, was that there was this undercurrent of well, bitterness-disguised-as-realism, as in:

"It doesn't get better, it didn't for me, so you better get a reality check here."

Um, really?

That's the message people wanted to send to young gay teens. No hope? No encouragement? Just "life's a bitch and then you become embittered?"

Time has passed, and my initial impression has changed.

WHAT I THINK NOW:

I believe that this Irish video actually represents the dramatic sea-change that has taken place in the past ten years in terms of homophobia and its societal acceptance. Yes, the world depicted in the video is a utopian "Big Eden", "In and Out" extreme, but it is not as far from reality as some would claim.

A few weeks ago, a drunken fan in the seats next to us at the Seattle Sounders game screamed "Faggot" at a player, and the entire seating section got quiet and very clearly Did Not Approve. He did not repeat the epithet for the rest of the game, nor has he in the subsequent three games I've attended.

I see a societal-norms trend that homophobia is now being classified as bigotry and is no longer acceptable on a community-standards basis, and that "Faggot" is in the process of going the way of "Nigger" in terms of disapprobation of its use.

So my position is now this:

"Criticize the encouraging videos all you want, but can you hold off doing so until the teens the campaign is directed at live long enough to understand your more-sophisticated position?"

Because really, if ONE kid believes it, that It Gets Better and doesn't kill himself, then the entire campaign is a success, and you want that too, right?

Right?

I'll put down some money right here that we will hear testimonials from kids starting in about two years about how they heard of the Youtube It Gets Better videos even way out in the sticks where they were growing up and being bullied, and that they clung to them like a lifeline. I'll even go so far as to bet you that at least ten kids will say that the campaign stopped them from killing themselves. I'll even give short odds. Any takers?

See?

It doesn't matter if the 99% of jaded youth goes "whatever" and cynics all over them, those kids are not the target demographic here. Too many of us grew up thinking we were the only people like ourselves in our small towns, and had no hope. The Kansasville, Wisconsin gay kid needs to see these messages of optimism as much as the budding lesbian in Pascagoula, Mississippi does.

Offer hope, people.

It's free.

[identity profile] archanglrobriel.livejournal.com 2011-04-03 10:25 pm (UTC)(link)
Isn't that what Harvey said? You gotta give 'em hope. That's the first part, the most important part. They can figure out how to deal with their realities once they've survived long enough to ascertain what those are. It's kind of a triage situation, in my opinion. You fix the places where the patient is about to bleed out first and -then- you worry about the rest.
I'm all about anything that keeps these kids from hurting themselves while they grow into the person they'll be. 'Course I'm all about pushing hope on just about everyone these days too. ;) In a bitter and cynical world, it's the ultimate rebellious act.

[identity profile] shirtlifterbear.livejournal.com 2011-04-03 10:28 pm (UTC)(link)
YES!

Hope is subversive!

AND LOVELY!

[identity profile] badrobot68.livejournal.com 2011-04-03 10:32 pm (UTC)(link)
"It gets better, although some people will always be assholes" just didn't have the same ring to it.

[identity profile] joebehrsandiego.livejournal.com 2011-04-03 10:38 pm (UTC)(link)
Thank you for this; I came over here from Neil's journal based on your comment to him.

My take on this is pretty close to yours; quoting what I said to Neil:

" I think it's a bit presumptuous for us who are years out of high school (and, who aren't teachers or parents) to say this is a fable/fairy tale/unrealistic. How do we know? Kids are light-years ahead of us in any number of things. In suburban Minneapolis something not too far from this happened very recently.
http://www.bing.com/videos/watch/video/lesbian-couple-allowed-to-walk-in-homecoming/6ifky9g"

[identity profile] shirtlifterbear.livejournal.com 2011-04-03 10:39 pm (UTC)(link)
Giggle!

Yes, exactly!

[identity profile] shirtlifterbear.livejournal.com 2011-04-03 10:39 pm (UTC)(link)
I'm so glad that we have hope in common!

Welcome to my LJ!

[identity profile] yukon72.livejournal.com 2011-04-03 10:47 pm (UTC)(link)
I'm surprised at the amount of opposition to "It Gets Better" I've been seen. The project was never meant to be a solution in itself, just a bit of encouragement to say "don't kill yourself, when you are old enough to leave that hick town you'll be fine."

The gay community has contrarians too and they fit right in with our country's history of voting against it's own best interests.

[identity profile] brokn2pieces.livejournal.com 2011-04-03 10:47 pm (UTC)(link)
Good words! I've avoided watching the video for some reason - maybe because I knew it was going to make me all emo. It was good despite not being able to understand about 40% of what they said :)

[identity profile] brokn2pieces.livejournal.com 2011-04-03 10:48 pm (UTC)(link)
amen, sister

[identity profile] shirtlifterbear.livejournal.com 2011-04-03 10:53 pm (UTC)(link)
I think the contrarian position in this matter is counter-productive, and can actually be harmful!

Well-said, [livejournal.com profile] yukon72!

[identity profile] fj.livejournal.com 2011-04-03 10:54 pm (UTC)(link)
I always figured It Gets Better came under the title of "Harm reduction". There is a legitimate question about why teens should have to wait for a future to be safe, but while we figure that out, we need them to stop killing themselves somehow.

That said, I wrote three years ago how faggot now on proper radio is "the f word" since the reporting on the Grey's Anatomy controversy. We are getting there.

[identity profile] shirtlifterbear.livejournal.com 2011-04-03 10:55 pm (UTC)(link)
Certain accents when combined with my dodgy hearing = "what? What did that guy say?"

I have to put the closed-captioning on in certain UK and Irish films, and always feel silly because it's ENGLISH! But it made "Trainspotting" much more comprehensible!

[identity profile] timbearuk.livejournal.com 2011-04-03 10:59 pm (UTC)(link)
I have to say, my general feeling is - "America needs that kind of 'It gets better' campaign? Aren't they a bit backward?".

I'm not denigrating the videos from anywhere, nor the need to protect young people, and I'm not suggesting that things are perfect here or that there is no need for reinforcement of the message, merely pointing out that in the Western world it would appear to be largely an American problem.

For the most part, Europe has moved on from persecuting gays. OK some of the Eastern European states still have issues, ex-Russian states still have BIG problems, but the EU has laws which are being enforced, which is more than the USA has. Ireland has that video and it's own problems but they are locked into Catholicism so it's not surprising (although still alarming!), but hey, they seem to be stepping out of that paradigm ...

Please, catch up - I think that probably means voting the right people into power by the way :-) In ten years I think things will be very different in the USA, we were sort of where you were fifteen years ago, but then again we don't have the Westboro baptist church ...

[identity profile] shirtlifterbear.livejournal.com 2011-04-03 11:02 pm (UTC)(link)
I remember when Gay Marriage was so far off the table that people thought "not in my lifetime, maybe after."

And the first lesbian couple married in the Netherlands just celebrated their tenth anniversary!

Progress indeed!

And "harm reduction" is a great way to think of it!

[identity profile] shirtlifterbear.livejournal.com 2011-04-03 11:04 pm (UTC)(link)
I think you're right!

We need to catch up!

And to think that the It Gets Better campaign was started by our Seattle-local sex columnist, Dan Savage.

Who could have predicted that the President of the United States would tape a video saying that "It Gets Better" for gay kids?

[identity profile] zenscribe.livejournal.com 2011-04-03 11:39 pm (UTC)(link)
What did you think of Tim Gunn's video?

[identity profile] zenscribe.livejournal.com 2011-04-03 11:39 pm (UTC)(link)
Obama did this? Kudos!

[identity profile] joebehrsandiego.livejournal.com 2011-04-03 11:41 pm (UTC)(link)
Westboro is a sick sideshow. Please don't use it as a marker or template for judging any part of the U.S. outside of itself.

[identity profile] shirtlifterbear.livejournal.com 2011-04-03 11:42 pm (UTC)(link)
I am always amazed when a celebrity shares something so very personal, and was very impressed and touched!

[identity profile] shirtlifterbear.livejournal.com 2011-04-03 11:43 pm (UTC)(link)
After Hillary Clinton did one, both the President and then-Speaker Pelosi did one.

[identity profile] fearless-son.livejournal.com 2011-04-04 12:03 am (UTC)(link)
Frankly, there are a lot of areas where I feel the United States would do well to take a cue from European nations on in terms of social issues like this as well as governmental and policy issues. Unfortunately, there is still some ridiculous concept of "American exceptionalism" that we have to fight down here, which makes such reforms all the more difficult.

This happens because there is a huge difference in cultural values between different states in the nation, and the way the national government has a "winner take all" structure tends to make it difficult to actually accomplish anything that large portions of the country will not oppose. Further, this tends to lead to U.S. politics being more about tribalism than about pragmatism or even ideology. Those states with shared culture tend to form voting blocks less out of a desire to legislate to ideology or self-benefit than out of a desire to screw over other American sub-cultures. The thing about homosexuality is that some of those cultures (specifically ones in which particular kinds of Christian churchs are the centers of community life) have latched onto homophobia as a battleground in this cultural war. Nothing tends to unit people like having a common enemy to oppose, and homosexuals are seen as a "safe" scapegoat for that because they are in the minority and it is easy to resist a particular "sin" that you have no interest in comitting yourself.

While this might slow down adopting more progressive legislation as concerns matters of sexual lifestyle, it also leaves itself vulnerable to a particular kind of attack, and that is acceptance. One of the reasons why I support the "It Gets Better" campaign targeted at teens is because it is an effective means of sharing that acceptance. While it may be targeted at homosexual teens, it carries its message beyond that particular demographic, as has the increasing presence of homosexuality in popular media. Data suggests that the younger generation, even in otherwise very homophobic American sub-cultures, has a vastly more positive impression of homosexuality than the older generation. As that younger generation grows up and increasingly starts to vote, the voting blocks that their parents have formed tends to break up, as they find more issues with which they disagree.

Eventually, the only people crying out against homosexuals will be a few old crackpots that no one listens to anymore and whom everyone would rather have shut up.

[identity profile] fogbear.livejournal.com 2011-04-04 12:10 am (UTC)(link)
Amen.

[identity profile] daddytodd.livejournal.com 2011-04-04 12:35 am (UTC)(link)
I have to use close-captioning on Dr. Who and Torchwood.

It may have started out the same language, but it's about as intelligible as Elizabethan English to my ears...

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