shirtlifterbear: (Default)
[personal profile] shirtlifterbear
One of the things that occurs to me every so often is that I'm perky.

I know, duh, but there's a more interesting set of implications that have come to my attention:



1) America values perkiness without validating it. "Be enthusiastic, be outgoing" is the mantra chanted by the masses at the wallflowers, the introverted, the cynical. It's an unending "perkiness plague" that is supposed to be caught by all, but in actual honest-to-Gandhi reality, the perky are thought to be tiring.

"OMG, she's so upbeat, it's exhausting."

So the thing you value is only valuable in small, metered doses? Fair enough, I suppose, but in contrast snarkiness is valued long-term. Janeane Garofalo wouldn't have a career if that weren't true. Nor Parker Posey. Nor John Stewart.

2) The perky are discounted as shallow.

Anyone else notice that Elle in "Legally Blonde" graduated first in her class at law school, albeit with really ironed hair to indicate brunette seriousness without sacrificing blonde goddessness?

She was valued for her perkiness, but had to dial it down to succeed.

Way to go, double standard! Making someone hide their light under a bushel is a coded attempt to control them. Women know this from painful experience, and a perky woman? Oh, dear.

3) The perky are resented.

"That can't be real! No one is that upbeat!" is something I've heard my whole life. What I always want to say, and never do is: "YOU can't be this upbeat! How sad for you!"

And then I would bounce away, Tiggr-all-full-of-springs.

But the resentment is palpable. I've felt it, like a dank cloud of meanness, just floating above the heads of the unperky. They plot to burst the bubble of the happy person, thinking of ways to "give them a reality check" or "hurt them like I hurt inside."

What a sweet sentiment! How charming you must be at parties!


My response to all of these attacks?

Said in my perkiest voice with a twinkle in my eye and a smile on my face as I head off to find something fun to do with people I like:

"Fuck off and die in a fire!"

PERKY IS A WEAPON, AND I'M NOT AFRAID TO USE IT.

BE TOLD!

*giggle*

Date: 2011-04-15 09:02 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] delmarmar.livejournal.com
Aw. I think of Parker Posey as perky. Demented and dark, but with a deep perky throughout. (I also think of Parker Posey in two roles primarily - Party Girl and House Of Yes, lol).

Date: 2011-04-15 09:11 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] shirtlifterbear.livejournal.com
I just saw Scream 3 last night and she made me giggle so badly that I couldn't breathe!

Demented perky, maybe?

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Date: 2011-04-15 09:08 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] daddytodd.livejournal.com
To pharaphrase Pat Benatar: STOP using perky as a weapon!

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Date: 2011-04-15 09:16 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] genxcub.livejournal.com
Have you thought that maybe you aren't perky, that you're merely enthusiastic?

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Date: 2011-04-15 09:16 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] pretzelcoatl.livejournal.com
I've noticed these things too. Which is why I'm ultra-wary of being optimistic because I dislike people thinking that I'm unrealistic. I believe people can be corrupt and stupid a lot of times but that doesn't mean I hate them or think they're entirely hopeless.

But then again, my fascination with the bereavement process, natural poisons, and icky creature things sort of hints that I'm not typical. :D

Date: 2011-04-15 11:34 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] shirtlifterbear.livejournal.com
Hmmm... perky with a fascination for the trappings of the culture of death?

Perky Goth!

Date: 2011-04-15 09:35 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] timbearuk.livejournal.com
There's nothing wrong with perky. If you are a Tigger, I'm more of an Eeyore though ...

"Why does your friend call you Donkey? Have you got a big cock?"

(with a stutter) "No! I dunno, He all.., He all.., He all.., He always calls me that"

:-)

Date: 2011-04-15 11:34 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] shirtlifterbear.livejournal.com
Horse by name, horse by nature.

*wink*

Date: 2011-04-15 10:00 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] geometrician.livejournal.com
But are you... annoyingly perky?

Date: 2011-04-15 11:35 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] shirtlifterbear.livejournal.com
Annoyingly perky = impossibility.

Your argument is invalid.

*giggle*

Date: 2011-04-15 10:31 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] wescobear.livejournal.com
Sorry, but being perky before I've had my coffee is just cruel.

Date: 2011-04-15 11:35 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] shirtlifterbear.livejournal.com
I am no Mary Sunshine pre-coffee myself. But once it kicks in, watch out!

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Date: 2011-04-15 10:41 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] lucentnotion.livejournal.com
I am the same way. I've often been accused of looking at the world through "Rose-Colored Glasses"

The truth of it is that we all carry around our own reality... My reality is one where I see the good in things and when bad things happen I roll with it and absorb it and then let it go... This is my one life and I'm going to be happy and no one can burst my bubble. I feel sorry for someone whose reality is so dark and dank that they resent someone who is happy and feel the need to try and disrupt that.

Date: 2011-04-15 11:36 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] shirtlifterbear.livejournal.com
"I feel sorry for someone whose reality is so dark and dank that they resent someone who is happy and feel the need to try and disrupt that."

So true!

Date: 2011-04-15 10:43 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] talktooloose.livejournal.com
Much as I am drawn to dark, brooding souls, I loves me the perk. I even have a perky icon!

Date: 2011-04-15 11:36 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] shirtlifterbear.livejournal.com
Because really, you can't have too much perky!

AMIRITE?

Date: 2011-04-15 10:46 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] dewittar.livejournal.com
PERKY IS A WEAPON, AND I'M NOT AFRAID TO USE IT

This is the best!

Date: 2011-04-15 11:38 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] shirtlifterbear.livejournal.com
It goes hand-in-hand with nice-ing an asshole to death. The ruder they start out, the nicer I get until somewhere in the middle of a sentence, they suddenly realize "OMG I'm being a total asshole" and grudgingly try to modify their tone.

I get a happy and slightly "Harmony Hut" gleam in my eye as I chalk up the win.

Social discourse should never be anti-social.

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Date: 2011-04-15 11:05 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] jhitchin.livejournal.com
There are days I wish I could be upbeat like you all the time, honestly. :-(

Date: 2011-04-15 11:39 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] shirtlifterbear.livejournal.com
It's not all the time, believe me. It's just Not For Public Consumption when I'm feeling the Three G's of Quality: grim, grim, and grim.

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Date: 2011-04-15 11:16 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] osodecanela.livejournal.com
I love perky, especially when dosed with humor. (and I have be so accused!)

I have been known to cheerfully say to someone who was spreading gloom, "Well aren't you a little fucking ray of sunshine!", which threw him off of his evil mood and got him laughing.

Date: 2011-04-15 11:42 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] shirtlifterbear.livejournal.com
"It's Little Mary Sunshine, here to spread joy to all the land!" is my version of that.

Date: 2011-04-15 11:39 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] sugarcollider.livejournal.com
For the longest time I operated on the idea that people liked me better when I wasn't happy, I think because of these social mechanisms.

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Date: 2011-04-16 12:09 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] gldngrrl.livejournal.com
oh gurl, i know it. I am a positive person, a little hyper and excitable and it just drives the grouchy, depressed nuts. And they drive me nuts.

...why would a student call me grumpy? I still don't know. Unless they were a little on the slow side I'll admit I'm not the most PATIENT person, though. Part of being hyper, I guess.

Date: 2011-04-16 10:15 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] shirtlifterbear.livejournal.com
I must admit that I have NO PATIENCE with the Actually Stupid.

I'm dismissive, and it shows.

There's a guy on the Spring Thaw committee who is truly, honest-to-goodness dumb.

I have not been on my best behavior in my interactions with him. I'm not proud of that fact. the only thing I can think of when he speaks is how to get him off of the committee for next year. It's quite distracting.

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Date: 2011-04-16 12:40 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] phreddd.livejournal.com
I always think of Danitra Vance (RIP) back in the day on "Saturday Night Live" as LaToya Marie, "That Black Girl" (chestnuts, moonbeams, hair relaxers...)

Date: 2011-04-16 10:19 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] shirtlifterbear.livejournal.com
Someone did a double take a few days ago when I was talking about the Asshole Treasurer and they saw me lift the finger and do the head-bob to accompany "Oh no you didn't."

I went to a magnet school, and I have to admit that it's a direct impersonation of my friend LaTonya McDonald, who WAS That Black Girl.

Date: 2011-04-16 12:42 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] blot.livejournal.com
everyone's got their own baseline, she growls

Date: 2011-04-16 10:19 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] shirtlifterbear.livejournal.com
Yeah, and I'd like to set the minimum at "not surly!"

Date: 2011-04-16 01:45 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] mrdreamjeans.livejournal.com
I have always admired your perkiness and your cheekiness. I'm a half cup kind of guy, too ... There's room for people like us in this world. What is tiresome are those people who are relentlessly cynical, sarcastic and bitchy. They can make me laugh, but they can't touch my heart.

You keep on being exactly who you are!

Big HUGS!

Date: 2011-04-16 10:20 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] shirtlifterbear.livejournal.com
Aw, smooches for you!

*grin*

We can't let the cynical bastards get us down!

Date: 2011-04-16 02:26 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] dianala.livejournal.com
I needed some perky today! Ah, fresh and bracing!

Date: 2011-04-16 10:20 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] shirtlifterbear.livejournal.com
Perky: !Ay que refresca!

Date: 2011-04-16 06:02 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] eric-mathgeek.livejournal.com
You crack me up!

Did you catch that we will be in Seattle for a week, starting tomorrow? HINT. HINT.

Date: 2011-04-16 10:22 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] shirtlifterbear.livejournal.com
I didn't know when you were planned to arrive! Hooray! We must get you to Beareoke! Maybe next Tuesday?

My number is two-zero-six, nine-four-seven, three-nine-one-zero. Text me!

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Date: 2011-04-16 07:20 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] tzaddi-93.livejournal.com
I honestly envy you your perkiness. I wish I found it easier to be happy and lighthearted.

Date: 2011-04-16 10:24 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] shirtlifterbear.livejournal.com
One of the things that has nailed down that leaving the SMF Brigade was absolutely the right decision for me is that ever since, I've been happier, more productive, and frankly more successful in every area of my life.

I do not find this to be a coincidence.

I got cranky towards the end because I let the unending jealousy and antipathy drag me down to their level.

Never again the Cranky Times!

Date: 2011-04-16 03:53 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] ciddyguy.livejournal.com
I'm not exactly a perky person per se, but I'm generally a pleasant person and see the world through the glass half full, rather than half empty.

And being perky isn't a bad thing, it's when it's over done it gets tiresome, as those who are always in a grumpy mood and bitch and kvetch over everything get just as tiring.

I therefore, like something in the middle, but with the glass half full. :-)

That said, I WILL sometimes have faith in something and will hold onto that faith until the bitter end when the fat lady has sung and there is NO other was around it, whatever it is has FAILED before I finally throw in the towel, unlike a lot of people who tend to give in way too early.

Now the constant cheerleadery thing for every little thing, now that grows old way fast.

Date: 2011-04-16 08:05 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] wrascalism.livejournal.com
Well now, I'm disappointed. I thought behind the cut we'd see a pic of you dressed as a kettle!

Date: 2011-04-16 10:24 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] shirtlifterbear.livejournal.com
"Do I look like a teapot?"

Date: 2011-04-17 05:15 am (UTC)

Date: 2011-04-19 05:13 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] fingertrouble.livejournal.com
I'm british we don't 'do' perky :-p