shirtlifterbear: (Equal Marriage Rights NOW)
[personal profile] shirtlifterbear
Civil Unions, The Second Class Citizen's Alternative To Marriage!

This is a short and sweet and hilarious indictment of Civil Union "equality."



And don't get me started on a REAL MARRIAGE for me!

Pinch me, I'm dreaming! OMG, bridal registry, engraved invitations, the "will I dare wear white" question, the guest list wars...

*swoon*

Oh, someday.

*secretly crossing fingers*

Date: 2010-11-29 11:46 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] entropic-system.livejournal.com
You reminded me: this weekend I was thinking about this topic. Another angle to attack it from would be to form your own sect of Christianity, one that recognizes gay marriage. Anyone arguing against it would then be arguing against religious freedom as well.

Date: 2010-11-30 12:08 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] shirtlifterbear.livejournal.com
I simply want to get married.

Not gay married.

Not civilly unified.

Just married.

As in "this is my husband."

RIGHT?

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Date: 2010-11-29 11:59 pm (UTC)
jss: (badger)
From: [personal profile] jss
> the "will I dare wear white" question

I am reminded somehow of Blanche's line to (I think it was) Rose, who'd expressed surprise that Blanche's wedding dress was RED: "Honey, me in white? Even I couldn't keep a straight face."

Date: 2010-11-30 12:07 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] shirtlifterbear.livejournal.com
That is EXACTLY the reference I was thinking of!

*giggle*

I figure I'll just sew a thick black hem onto the inside of the garment!

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Date: 2010-11-30 12:19 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] wescobear.livejournal.com
So you do know that white is reserved for virgins? *g*

Date: 2010-11-30 12:23 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] shirtlifterbear.livejournal.com
Oh dear.

I may be pushing my luck on this one.

Maybe something... eggshell?

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Date: 2010-11-30 12:26 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] dianala.livejournal.com
That is completely awesome!

Date: 2010-11-30 12:33 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] shirtlifterbear.livejournal.com
[livejournal.com profile] tbass and I ran into that awkward "what the hell do I call him?" moment at his Mister Northwest Bear competition.

I was like "god, I hate partner, but it nails it down if I can't say husband, and I can't say husband because I don't see no ring on this finger, but we might as well be, oh shit, boyfriend, so high school, what the hell DO I call him? Um, fiance?"

*eyeroll*

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Date: 2010-11-30 12:57 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] pectopah.livejournal.com
I am party to a Civil Union in Vermont and I still call it married (although in Canada, we are common law). What's second class about it is that in Vermont, gay marrieds and civil unions have to fill out extra tax paperwork.

I went to a marriage panel discussion at Dartmouth in 2004 and the women on the panel wanted marriage for everyone and the men all thought marriage should be abolished (except as a religious ceremony) and everyone should get civil unions. I tend to agree.

In Quebec, any couple can get married and any couple can have a civil union. That's the way it should be.

Date: 2010-11-30 02:48 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] razil.livejournal.com
This is mostly where I fall too. Anybody should be able to get married or civilly unionized in the eyes of the state and that will be that. Anybody who wants to do the whole god thing can play by the rules of whatever god they want to recognize. I'm not so much pro-gay-marriage as anti-straight-marriage or anti-marriage-as-path-to-basic-civil-rights.

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Date: 2010-11-30 01:46 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] fingertrouble.livejournal.com
Civil partnerships here work just fine.

It's the need to get God into a relationship I don't understand tbh. I mean it's hard enough with 2 as it is...;-)

Churches, dresses, flowers etc. puts me right off.

And I have two I could 'marry' but then again, I can't marry both. Grr.

Date: 2010-11-30 01:50 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] fingertrouble.livejournal.com
Asking the devout why only two people can marry is fun, especially where kids cannot be created, and you could easily restrict any marriage benefits (not that there are many left) to the first couple, or your choice.

Same time, fun asking why when you're requested to take your hat off in church or a cathedral...they don't know.

Apparently God is very interested in the top of my head, and that I don't marry two people. Right.

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Date: 2010-11-30 02:27 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] vurumai.livejournal.com
You... don't get to wear white.

You will be completely naked with a unicorn pelt draped over your "bedroom bits."

Date: 2010-11-30 02:56 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] shirtlifterbear.livejournal.com
Rampant, I must say!

Date: 2010-11-30 02:54 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] tzaddi-93.livejournal.com
Have you seen this?

Date: 2010-11-30 02:56 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] shirtlifterbear.livejournal.com
I hadn't seen it!

Yummy!

Date: 2010-11-30 06:21 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] muddster.livejournal.com
That was cute :)

Date: 2010-11-30 03:17 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] shirtlifterbear.livejournal.com
And I think it boiled it down perfectly!

Date: 2010-11-30 06:57 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] detailbear.livejournal.com
I hear Vancouver is lovely in June.

While not perfect, it's a start. The Breens have gotten married/unionated in 6 (or maybe 7) jurisdictions now, including the UK and one during the Toronto bear run a few years back.

And I don't think you could get away with anything whiter than Old Ivory, Antique White or Café Blanc ;-)

Date: 2010-11-30 03:20 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] shirtlifterbear.livejournal.com
Espresso!

*wink*

In the end, I think that it's about the community ritual part for me. I have gone to SO MANY weddings, happy for my friends, happy to be there... and sad that I don't have invitations to send out myself. "Hey gang, fly out for my "'not really a wedding'" just doesn't have the same sense of societal obligation that I felt to go to theirs, you know?

And nothing would please me more than seeing them just as happy for me as I was for them!

Date: 2010-11-30 06:52 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] princekermit.livejournal.com
Who was it that suggested that the way to heave the country out of the recession was gay wedding registry?

Come the day, I promise to throw rice at you. :-)

There are a few different comments of relative crudity about what "counts" and what doesn't but the short version is: if you've never fooled around with a woman, there are those who would argue that you could wear white.

Date: 2010-12-01 02:32 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] shirtlifterbear.livejournal.com
Except for all those women back in the 80's. It's Reagan's fault!

Date: 2010-12-01 01:08 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] tilia-tomentosa.livejournal.com
That video is a riot! I'm stealing it for my Facebook (most of my Bulgarian gays understand English, but don't read my LJ). Hmm, do I have LJ friends who aren't your friends? *grin*

Just get Illegally Married, Chris, rice and all (I'm afraid you are long past white, LOL). Or just start calling Tony "my husband". And send out invitations for your WEDDING, and to hell with what 'society' thinks of it.

(I wish my memories of friends' weddings were as happy as yours, but alas, they are typically followed by memories of divorces).

Date: 2010-12-01 02:33 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] shirtlifterbear.livejournal.com
I may start referring to "the old ball-and-chain," an antiquated term comparing a spouse to a jail term!

*grin*

Date: 2010-12-01 03:04 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] tzaddi-93.livejournal.com
Wear white if you want to--people have heaped the virginity symbolism on the modern white dress, but it was traditionally the veil that symbolized virginity. The modern tradition of the white dress was started by Queen Victoria--not exactly an ancient tradition. It caught on as a class signifier, first adopted by the upper classes and then after WWII by the middle and working classes when they began to indulge in knock-offs of the trappings of the wealthy. Prior to that, brides either wore their best dress--or had a new dress made that became their best dress--but the wedding dress was always meant to be worn again. They were usually in different colors--even bright red or blue. If they were pale, it was usually an oyster gray. The white wedding caught on because 1) Victoria was a major trendsetter when she was young, and 2) it showed that you were wealthy enough to buy a dress that was impractical for future wear.

Date: 2010-12-01 11:01 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] shirtlifterbear.livejournal.com
I figure that I'll have a white waistcoat.

It's a good compromise, and goes well with the Edwardian White Tie Wedding I've always wanted!

Date: 2010-12-01 06:18 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] fearless-son.livejournal.com
What does it say about me, as a heterosexual man, that I would actually prefer to be in a Civil Union with a woman instead of a marriage, as might be more typical?

I suppose that it is because I hate institutions that come pre-loaded with a set of emotions that I do not wish to be assumed to have. I would rather just get the legal benefits and go through with my own set of emotions rather than have them heaped upon me by expectation.

Date: 2010-12-01 11:03 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] shirtlifterbear.livejournal.com
Having the option to choose a civil union over a marriage is a heterosexual privilege that doesn't work in reverse. The states that recognize gay marriage have no pull in securing federal benefits for the participants, nor does society equate civil unions with marriages.

It's kind of like "oh, you got joined at city hall?"

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