Nov. 22nd, 2010

shirtlifterbear: (Default)
I know that the world is a big bad nasty place with the TSA and paper cuts and North Korean nuclear centrifuges in it. I also know that choosing to look on the bright side is an intellectual choice that is not popular in certain circles, and is even disparaged and mocked by some if not all in the world.

But I just had a class today on the spiritual dimension of health and as the lovely snow fell outside the window, I realized an interesting set of things that the discussion about our lecture on grief, acceptance and forgiveness helped me become aware of:

1) The two angriest, nastiest-toned students, the ones who constantly challenge the teachers and ask questions they already know the answers to (as a test of the instructor, I guess?), those charming individuals?

They both argued against forgiveness. One said that "forgiveness is selfish."

My response was immediate and I blurted out: "Forgiveness is selfless."

She did not agree.

The other guy, who is, I'm sad to say, an Evil Queen Giving Us A Bad Name, said that "no one can truly forgive, they can only choose to ignore how they were wronged." *gasp* That? IS AWFUL!

I was filled with sadness for them both. Not from a superior position of pity, honestly, but a sadness about how their lives must be, day-to-day, with that mindset.

2) My mother is a Pollyanna. Of cosmic proportions. For the love of little green apples, her name is Glenda! We've called her the Good Witch for DECADES. (Yes, the Baum books spell it Glinda, and "Wicked" spells it Galinda, but I choose my own reality. BE TOLD!)

And that optimism rubbed off on me, big time.

Optimists think things are going to work out well, and in a self-reinforcing way only notice the instances when that belief is supported by events. Which makes them more optimistic because they were "proved" right. I refer to it as a Virtuous Circle.

Pessimists do the exact same thing, same reinforcement and all, but they focus on the instances that prove that things don't work out. Which makes them more pessimistic because they were "proved" right.I refer to it as a Vicious Circle.

Sure, that's a pejorative way to label the two mindsets. Um, so what? The term Pollyanna has come to have a negative connotation, and I reject that interpretation outright and am reclaiming the term Pollyanna for good. Why? Because I choose my own reality.

3) Mean people suck.

They just do.

I don't know if it's that they're lashing out, or that like Lucia in "The Opposite of Sex" they "have a death wish. I just direct it at others."

For whatever reason, malicious intent or no, they are Debbie Downers. Or worse.


My Livejournal is a ray of sunshine, dammit. I choose it to be. Sure I have some down times, and I've talked about them here, but by and large, and by a great margin, my posts are upbeat and happy-making.


That is just about my favorite phrase in the world.

"That movie, 'Julie and Julia,' was so happy-making!"

"I just reread 'A Night In The Lonesome October' and it's so happy-making!"

"'To Say Nothing of the Dog...' is SUCH a happy-making book for me I can't stop rereading it!"

"[ profile] tbass teases me in such a happy-making way!"

"My mom just called to tell me that it's snowing and she's watching it drift down from her recliner with a good book and it's happy-making!"




Say it loud, say it proud:

I choose to be happy-making!



shirtlifterbear: (Default)

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